About fucking time. The Nazz says forgive the stupid asswipes. ‘Nuff said.

Can’t Grandma get her game on for someone from Man United? Very disappointed. Or try real football, the American kind. Maybe I can hook you up with a Tennessee Titan. A Chicago Bear. A Memphis Motherfucker. Okay, I might have made that last one up. How does that sound? Intriguing, yes?

Let me guess. This is the Grandma with the cow’s twat friend…

Sports guys… what happened to rock stars? Race car drivers? Regular, everyday sex objects? I never did get this whole sports thing, I admit. This modern age can be difficult to cotton up to.

Ashley…. ASHLEY!!! That’s my fucking daughter’s name. How dare he… that hamster-faced cocksucker.